A Hospice Nurse’s Story: Two Days Until Death

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There is a spiritual connection in hospice, dealing with death and dying, forty-plus hours per week. We who are in the field see it often, but there are times when we hear it firmly from the patients and families whom we serve. Let me share the most recent event on Memorial Day, 5/29/2023, week.

Seven days a week (I volunteered to work the weekend), I saw my patient with glioblastoma stage 4 brain cancer while transitioning (the period of in and out of consciousness) towards actively dying and was still able to express himself. On Sunday’s visit, he’s up possibly 30 minutes out of the day, eating bites and sips, and able to communicate clearly.

According to his loved one, Sunday evening, around 3:00 PM, he (the patient) started having terminal restlessness… Monday, 5/29, in the morning, between midnight and 4:00 AM, the patient (who was sleeping in his bed) shared, “There are all these people surrounding the bed, young and old…” …. “There is a stairway leading upwards with a blue light shining…” He tells his loved one he’s walking to the light and raising his hands towards the light… and then hears a voice, “YOU MUST REPENT TO ENTER!”

Then he shares the words “two days” with his loved one. Exploring what those two words meant leaves the loved one wondering what will happen in two days.

On Monday, 5/29, I arrived at about 8 AM, and when we returned to the patient, he was able to wake up and talk lightly. I expressed a desire to have a conversation with God. I shared with the family that, based on the presentation of the patient (the holistic phrase I use that considers the velocity of downward changes, complexion, mottling, etc.), it is very feasible that the patient will die in two to three days.

Wednesday, 5/31… two days later, the patient died. Two days!

I don’t know if the gentlemen made peace with God; the patient and family blessed me as much, if not more, than I may have blessed them in my service to all of them. I know God is real, heaven is real, hell is real, and there’s evidence for those with eyes and ears to see and listen.

Resources

The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) is dedicated to improving the quality of legal services provided to older adults and people with disabilities

Articles on Advance Directives

Eldercare Locator: a nationwide service that connects older Americans and their caregivers with trustworthy local support resources

Find the Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program in Your State

Greater National Advocates Directory of Independent Patient Advocates

Patients Voices Matter Foundation – Empowering Patients, Transforming Lives

Independent Patient Advocate – Independent, non-clinical patient advocacy nationwide. Health Navigation, SSDI Application & Appeals, and Whole Health Advocacy. 100% remote. No insurance accepted.

Compassion Crossing, LLC – Independent, clinical patient advocacy nationwide.

Natural Death With Dignity: Protecting Your Right To Refuse Medical Treatment

Beyond the Living Will: Creating Effective Advance Directives and Value-Based Advance Care Planning: A Guide for Helping Professionals

Make Your Own Medical & Financial Power of Attorney: A Step-By-Step Guide to Making a Power of Attorney

Last things first, just in case… The Practical Guide to Living Wills and Durable Powers of Attorney for Health Care

Death and Dying: A Good Exit Plan

Free Daily Symptom Tracker: Each headache, flare, or fatigue spike reveals a clue. This two-page Daily Symptom Tracker records sleep quality, food intake, triggers, severity, and effective relief methods—all in one place. Use it daily for 31 days and share the pages with your healthcare provider or health navigation expert. Together, you can move from guessing to addressing the root cause. Instructions on how to use the free daily symptom tracker and the free daily symptom tracker.

Free Caregiver and Dementia Training Videos

CaringInfo – Caregiver support and much more!

The Hospice Care Plan (guide) and The Hospice Care Plan (video series)

Understanding Palliative Care: A Guide to Common Questions and Answers

Bridging the Gap: Palliative Care’s Role in Supporting Rare Disease Patients

Comprehensive Guide to Financial Assistance for Hospice and Palliative Care Patients

Surviving Caregiving with Dignity, Love, and Kindness

Caregivers.com | Simplifying the Search for In-Home Care

Geri-Gadgets – Washable, sensory tools that calm, focus, and connect—at any age, in any setting

Healing Through Grief and Loss: A Christian Journey of Integration and Recovery

This site uses Amazon Associate links, which means I earn a small commission when you purchase books or products through these links—at no extra cost to you. These earnings help me keep this website running and ad-free, so I can continue providing helpful articles and resources at no charge.

If you don’t see anything you need today but still want to support this work, you can buy me a cup of coffee or tea. Every bit of support helps me continue writing and sharing resources for families during difficult times.

Caregiver Support Book Series

VSED Support: What Friends and Family Need to Know

My Aging Parent Needs Help!: 7-Step Guide to Caregiving with No Regrets, More Compassion, and Going from Overwhelmed to Organized [Includes Tips for Caregiver Burnout]

Take Back Your Life: A Caregiver’s Guide to Finding Freedom in the Midst of Overwhelm

The Conscious Caregiver: A Mindful Approach to Caring for Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself

Dear Caregiver, It’s Your Life Too: 71 Self-Care Tips To Manage Stress, Avoid Burnout, And Find Joy Again While Caring For A Loved One

Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved

The Art of Dying

Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying

Find Green (natural) Burial Sites by State

Between Life and Death: A Gospel-Centered Guide to End-of-Life Medical Care

Providing Comfort During the Last Days of Life with Barbara Karnes, RN (YouTube Video)

Preparing the patient, family, and caregivers for a “Good Death.”

Velocity of Changes in Condition as an Indicator of Approaching Death (often helpful to answer how soon? or when?)

The Dying Process and the End of Life

The Last Hours of Life

Gone from My Sight: The Dying Experience

The Eleventh Hour: A Caring Guideline for the Hours to Minutes Before Death

By Your Side: A Guide for Caring for the Dying at Home

Compassion Crossing Academy — Free and paid online courses are available to teach caregivers, nurses, social workers, chaplains, end-of-life advocates, and educators, including death doulas, how to confidently coordinate complex care.

The Death Deck is often a wonderful conversation starter.

Bridges to Eternity: The Compassionate Death Doula Path book series:

Find an End-of-Life Doula

Compassion Crossing, LLC, via Peter M. Abraham, BSN, RN, EOLD, offers on-site services in Madison County, KY, as well as in the seven nearby counties—Clark, Estill, Fayette, Garrard, Jackson, Jessamine, and Rockcastle—and provides virtual options when no local provider is available.
Hospice Buddy: Although Jamie Haberman, RN, CHPN, isn’t a certified end-of-life doula, her virtual services are highly valuable.
The National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) Directory
Death Doula Directory

Currently, no official organization regulates end-of-life doulas (EOLDs). Remember that some EOLDs listed in directories may no longer be practicing, so it’s important to verify their current status.

End-of-Life Doula Schools

Before you consider a death doula school, please volunteer with a local hospice provider as a “companion volunteer” to gain experience with strangers who are dying, as well as with family and staff dynamics. The author also recommends reading the article Economic rant: The death doula crisis we aren’t talking enough about, as most death doula schools do not emphasize that being a death doula is a calling rather than a career.

The following are end-of-life (aka death doula) schools for those interested in becoming an end-of-life doula:

University of Vermont. End-of-Life Doula School
Heart Bridge Holistic Training and Mentorship
National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA): While it’s not a school, it offers a certification pathway.
Compassion Crossing Academy: Although it isn’t a dedicated death-doula school, it offers unique classes that can help death doulas expand their practice. It serves as an important resource for individuals looking to deepen their understanding and grow in this meaningful profession.

Remember that there is no official accrediting body for end-of-life doula programs. Certification simply shows you’ve completed an unaccredited course and received a certificate of completion. It’s advisable to have discovery sessions with any death doula school you’re considering — even if it isn’t listed here — to see if it meets your needs. Also, ask questions and reach out to references, such as former students, to assess whether the school provided a solid foundation for launching your own death doula practice.