Source: Caring for your Dementia Loved One: Tips from Professional Nurses
Table of Contents
Dementia gets worse over time, and as caregivers, we want to support our loved ones through every stage. In the severe stages of dementia, a person's body may begin to fail significantly. Here are seven ways to promote their quality of life during this challenging time.
Living in the Present Moment
When someone has dementia, their memory gets worse over time. They may forget things that happened or what will happen in the future. But they can still enjoy the present moment, the time that is happening right now. You can help them by noticing the little things that make life good, like the smell of lunch cooking, the beauty of nature outside the window, and the feeling of their soft hands. You can say things like, “Mmm, that smells delicious!” or “Look at that pretty bird!” or “I love holding your hand!” This will make them feel happy and loved. You can also do things they like, such as listening to their favorite music, playing a simple game, or hugging them. Try to make the present moment fun and pleasant for both of you.
Embracing Different Ways of Communication
Communication is how we talk and listen to each other. Sometimes, dementia can make communication hard because your loved one may forget words or get confused. But you don't need to use only words to communicate with them. You can use other ways, such as music, pictures, and touch. Music can make them feel calm or cheerful, depending on what kind of music it is. You can sing along with them, dance with them, or enjoy the sound together. Pictures can help them remember things or people that they love. You can look at photo albums with them or make a collage of their favorite images. You can also talk about what you see in the pictures and ask them questions. Touch can show them that you care about them. You can hold their hand, stroke their hair, or massage them. You can also use a cozy blanket to wrap them up and make them feel safe and warm.
Anticipating Their Needs
Needs are things that we all need to live, such as food, water, and comfort. Sometimes, dementia can make it hard for your loved one to tell you what they need or to get it themselves. They may not be able to say, “I'm hungry,” “I'm thirsty,” or “I'm in pain.” However, you can still determine their needs by observing their body language. Body language is how they move their face, eyes, and body. For example, they may lick their lips, point to their mouth, or make chewing sounds if hungry. They may smack their lips, reach for a glass, or make swallowing sounds if thirsty. They may frown, close their eyes, or groan if they are in pain. You can also check their body for discomfort, such as bruises, cuts, or rashes. You can also make sure that their doctor knows about their medical history so they can treat any problems they have.
Normalizing Dependence and Care
Dependence is when someone needs help from someone else to do things. Care is when someone helps someone else to do things. As dementia worsens, your loved one may need more help from you or others to do things they used to do themselves, such as bathing, dressing, or going to the bathroom. This is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. You can help them by being kind and patient with them. You can also make these tasks more enjoyable for them. For example, you can make bathing a relaxing experience by using warm water, soft towels, and nice-smelling soap. You can also play some soothing music or talk to them gently. You can also make toileting a funny experience by making jokes, using silly words, or laughing together. You can also take your time and not rush them. You can also make each moment meaningful by telling them you love them, thanking them for letting you help them, or complimenting them on how they look.
Exploring Nearby and Safe Activities
Activities are things we do for fun, such as playing, reading, or gardening. Sometimes, dementia can make it hard for your loved one to do activities that they used to do, especially if they involve moving around a lot or going to faraway places. But you can still do activities with them that are nearby and safe. For example, you can explore the garden with them and look at the flowers, smell the herbs, or touch the leaves. You can also explore a cozy room with them, look at the pictures, read the books, or touch the pillows. You can also engage their senses, which are how they see, hear, and smell things. For example, you can show them something colorful, play something noisy, or give them something fragrant. Doing these activities can make them feel curious and happy. It can also make you feel happy too.
Creating a Calm Environment
The environment is the place where we are and the things that are around us. Sometimes, dementia can make your loved one feel upset or restless because they don't understand what is happening or they don't like what is happening. This can make them act in ways that are different from before, such as shouting, hitting, or wandering. This is not their fault; they are not trying to be bad. They are just trying to tell you that something is wrong. You can help them by finding out what is causing them to feel this way and creating a calm environment. A calm environment is a place that is quiet, peaceful, and comfortable. You can create a calm environment by minimizing noise and stimulation, which can overwhelm them, such as loud music, bright lights, or too many people. You can also redirect their attention to positive things, which are things that can make them feel happy, such as their favorite toy, song, or person. You can also offer reassurance with a calm voice and gentle touch, which are things that can make them feel safe, such as saying, “It's okay, I'm here with you,” or “You're doing great” or “I love you” or giving them a hug or a kiss.
Addressing Bodily Function Issues
Bodily functions are things our body does, such as breathing, eating, or going to the bathroom. Sometimes, dementia can make it hard for your loved one to do these things or to do them well. For example, they may have trouble controlling their bladder or bowel, making them wet or soil themselves. Or they may have difficulty swallowing their food or drink, making them choke or cough. These issues can be embarrassing or dangerous for them and stressful or tiring for you. However, you can help them by working with healthcare providers, such as doctors, nurses, or therapists, who know how to care for people's health. They can help you optimize their diet, which is the food and drink that they have, and make sure that they get enough nutrition and hydration, which are the things that they need to stay healthy and strong. They can also help you address their swallowing concerns, which are their eating or drinking problems, and give you tips on making it easier and safer for them. You can also help them by being patient with any accidents, such as when they wet or soil themselves, and not getting angry or frustrated with them. You can also help them by asking for help when needed when you feel that you can't do it alone, need a break, or have a question. You can ask for help from your family, friends, or professionals who can support you and your loved one.
Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle can help your loved one with dementia stay physically and mentally well. You can help them by encouraging them to eat healthy foods, drink enough water, and avoid alcohol and tobacco. You can also help them by doing physical activities with them, such as walking, dancing, or gardening. Physical activities can improve their mood, memory, and balance. You can also help them by ensuring they get enough sleep, which can help them feel rested and alert. You can also help them by managing their stress, which can make them feel anxious or depressed. You can help them cope with stress by relaxing with them, such as listening to soothing music, meditating, or breathing deeply.
Stimulating Their Mind and Memory
A stimulated mind and memory can help your loved one with dementia stay engaged and interested. You can help them with cognitive activities like puzzles, games, or crafts. Cognitive activities can challenge their brain, improve their thinking skills, and boost their self-esteem. You can also help them by doing reminiscent activities like talking about their past, sharing stories, or looking at old photos. Reminiscence activities can trigger their memory, preserve their identity, and strengthen their bond.
Respecting Their Preferences and Choices
A respected preference and choice can help your loved one with dementia feel valued and respected. You can help them by involving them in decisions that affect their life, such as what to wear, eat, or do. You can also help them by giving them options, such as asking them, “Would you like to watch TV or listen to the radio?” or “Would you like to have chicken or fish for dinner?” You can also help them by honoring their wishes, such as respecting their cultural or religious beliefs or following their advance directives. Advance directives state what kind of medical care they want or don't want in the future.
Conclusion
Caring for someone with severe dementia requires resources and support. To provide the best care possible, take care of yourself, too. Focus on creating meaningful moments, engaging the senses, and offering love and patience in every interaction.
